You Might Be A Nurse...

I am going to take some time out of my busy day to confess that I might be a nurse since...

-I think it's completely normal/acceptable/appropriate to use words such as but not limited to: penis, vagina, drainage, rectum, fungating, malodorous, scrotum and labia in regular conversation in an effort to be very clear and descriptive in my story-telling, i mean, report.
-I also use these words while in a restaurant in which valet parking is complimentary, one is expected to tip the waitstaff at least twenty percent, and the dinner options probably do not include a dollar menu.  I am acutely aware that others may or may not find to be normal/acceptable/appropriate.
-I would never allow myself to look into my closet and only find "medical" aka "pajamas" aka scrubs to wear.  I am sorry that is absolutely inexcusable and if this is a stronghold in your life please contact me so we can pray about it.  I am here to help.
-I know for a fact that all bleeding stops. eventually.
-Of course the pain will go away when it stops hurting. 
- I really don't care about the rhythm. 
-"Too Stupid to Live," should be an admitting diagnosis,  so should "Are You Kidding me?,"  "You Took What, and Drove?," and "Wait, Who Admitted You?"
-I am more than willing fill out the AMA paperwork {signing out against medical advice} for individuals experiencing difficulty in the areas of reading, riting, and rithmatic.