Monday, November 26, 2012

More Holiday Follow Up

No really, all pouting aside it was a great holiday, the baby had his first ever Thanksgiving Day Lunch...

wearing my cousin's baby doll bib (she is five)

He does not actually have a Big Sister.
Thank you Jesus.

And first ever Thanksgiving Day Dinner in which one of my many family members decided he did not need to wear pants.

And while I'm not actually "for" posting pictures of your child that:
 1.) aren't even good pictures and
2.) are incriminating to you as a parent -ie child's face is filthy with koolaid, chewed up mac and cheese, vomitus {seriously yall, I saw that in a chart a few days ago.  Really? You think you're a prudent nurse because you can chart using the word "vomitus"?}, and/or no pants during Thanksgiving Dinner,

I went ahead and posted some of the above mentioned line items.   
(...MommaZone, anyone?)

As per usual, I will now showcase a picture of my Bojangles To Go Order...

Once we put this into place, to Blowing Rock we go.

Because we need a Christmas Tree.

Bebe, howevah.  Stayed in the car due to subzero temperatures.

Yes. Subzero.  In the North Carolina Mountains.  You may be a Carolina Girl...if ... it is embedded well within your belief system that when the thermomostat reaches below 60 degrees (Farenheit) it is, in fact, freezing.

Ok we let him out of the car for ten minutes to learn about Christmas Tree Farms.  See?

Uncle Ryan and Aunt Carri

And yessir, there you have it, that's a tree.  Naow get this child back in that truck before he catches his death.

Saturday, November 24, 2012


Hello Ladies and GentleLadies, how was your Thanksgiving?  This is where I spent mine.

Are you done guessing where that is?  Don't worry about it, I'll just tell you. 
Is me in a Starbucks charting in between patient visits.  This Starbucks happened to have groceries as well.  Ok Sike it's the Starbucks attached to Harris Teeter in Cameron Village.  

A full grocery cart.  In Starbucks.  On Thanksgiving Day.  With a line to the door of patronage.  While I worked.  (Not going to lie, I also posted my Thanksgiving Day blog post as well...What? I can't get in on a little free wi-fi too!?)  I looked creepy enough taking this picture (inconspicuously?) and looked even creepier trying to use the panorama option on my camera to take a picture of the masses who just couldn't get enough coffee. 

This coming from a gal who has worked either/and/or/a combination of all three Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years over the past five years:  Seriously people.  Get the hell out of Starbucks and go enjoy your people.  Be it family, friends, acquaintances, or whomever floats your boat. 

I sound like a crotchety old lady.

You go work a few major holidays.  Maybe you'll sound crotchety too.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happry Thranksgriving


And nothing says Thank You Lord for All These and Thy Many Blessings like a nice little stenotic left main coronary artery {you may be familiar with WidowMaker, no?} with some diabetic coma mixed in.
Below, is how you may quickly achieve both.  AKA: how we celebrate Thanksgiving in my family










So Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.  {That's not really my family, rather a tasteful piece of photography from Garden&Gun}

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

First Pumpkin Patch Experience

Whitten's first pumkin patch experience was pretty much borderline disastrous.  Entering MommaZone. You've been warned.  {For those of you unfamiliar with MommaZone, please refer yourself, here}

So. Pretty much.  He was exhausted because he hardly napped all day (hello, church nursery, I just called you out) therefore he did not care to actually enjoy the pumpkin patch, rather he enjoyed to whine.  Josh was *excuse me* bitching because he didn't think it was his place to also enjoy the Whitten's First Pumpkin Patch Experience secondary to, you guessed it, football. Which is reasonable because his running back/quarterback/cornerback/defensive tackle, Ron-Darius-Debrikashaw-Brady-Rothlesberger was in fact, on his fantasy team, and playing, "RIGHT NOW," and "I'm MISSING IT."  Apparently his watching every play of each of these over-paid meat heads all weekend long (and parts of the week-yes football runs Thursday through Monday) is directly related to how they actually play (oh you didn't know that?)  Which is in fact a direct correlation to Fantasy Football Team Domination. 

I hate to be such a thorn in everyone's side (no I don't), but I'd just like to keep it real, real quick.  I work. All Day.  Every Day.  Parts of the work I do actually earn an income. A Salary.  The other parts, don't pay cash money (oh, you didn't know that either?)  No matter.  The point is.  I am busy.  All the time.  When I have thirty minutes.  To take my child.  To his very First Pumpkin Patch Experience.  Ever.  Everyone. Better. Cooperate.  And Pretend. To Love it.  Or. I will make you Hate. Everything. 

And you can run and tell that. 

Monday, November 19, 2012



I have been on hiatus people.

But now I am back.  I think.

How was that for my welcome back to myself blogpost?  So. Exciting.  No really I had a specific request to do an entry on an ever present topic entitled, "I'm Sexy and I Know It In a Trashy Bar With a Trashy Wife Who Thinks She's Something Because I have a Big Penis, So They Say;" But then the title kind of told the whole story of the post and you know I'd just hate to be redundant...

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Did You?

No really.  He did.  He didn't even have to prove he was of age.  {Apparently you must furnish proof of identity to buy cigarettes, fight for your country, obtain a tattoo, and to get into your very most favorite bar/gentleman's club.  But not the polls.}

Monday, November 5, 2012

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Sh%t Southern Women Say

This week's posts are mainly pick me ups.  Because this week, among many of the past few, I have been in need of a pick me up.  I would apologize  {but I'm not sorry} for my recent lack of creativity, however, at times, one only has but so much energy, and rather than pouring into the lives of others, at times, one's life requires being poured into.  So I'd like to thank the creators of YouTube as well as the creators of At Home Videos for filling my spiritual vessel. ;o)

PS I stole this from a Facebook friend, thank you FBF for your positive influence in my day to day.

Friday, November 2, 2012


This is the ultimate mood stabilizer.  Or uplifter.  Enjoy your weekend, shug.
{watch the outtakes too}

"I saw this fat as sh*t squirrel, I think it was in DG..."

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Emily Clark Giveaway

Hey hey hey Emily Clark is having a huge giveaway (that's also my sister's name...cray cray cray, right?!)

Check it out, gal.  And since I think the universe revolves around myself, if you win you have to split it with me because this giveaway is humungo.