Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Fun Girl

Truvy: Clairee, you know I’d rather walk on my lips than criticize anybody...but...Janice Van Meter…
Clairee: I know...
Truvy: I bet you money she’s paid $500 for that dress and doesn’t even bother to wear a girdle.
Clairee: It’s like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
Truvy: Well, I haven’t left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right

I received a specific request to do "The Fun Girl." 

Here it goes.

FUN Girl.  You know her.  I referred to her in an earlier post as the one, who parades herself about social media for attention.  Yes-I know you do- yes, you do; you know her.

You have probably seen her loving those beer bongs, when she's not taking 37 tequila shots, while wearing a cheap water bra complete with poly-spandex-nylon-lycra blend top{bleh}/too tight crystal encrusted on the booty mini-skirt that looks like a tube top from 1999.  {remember those?} 

Naow. I realize that not all Fun Girls wear BabyPhat.*

*Speaking of, why the hey is Kimora Lee Simons on Fashion Police  running her mouth about, "Ok, YES, those florals, the metallics, patterns on patterns, THIS is CURRENT."  Ok.  You know, Kimora, you are not actually considered a fashion guru.  I know you're very beautiful, and a model, and per wikipedia, appeared in music videos for Ginuwine and Usher, and in fact, the inventor of the word "fabulocity" -which I will wear out in a minute-howevah. BabyPhat.  Is not "Current." Meaning you might not be the boss of what IS and IS NOT "Current."

Either who. 
Fun Girl: You might find her kissing only her closest of girlfriends for pictures {I am referring to the wannabe-a-playmate playboy mansion style coke-head make out sesh} at awesome parties, where the boys {I don't care if they are over 18, you can hardly call this type a man} wear their hats at 2:00 or 8:00 or...even 3 and 9. 

If no one cares to take her pic, or is too intoxicated to remember how to use a camera, she instead: will make sexy pictures of herself.  At these said parties, she may or may not flash you a peace sign.  Or her middle finger.  I do take time out of my life to wonder if she knows that we know she takes like 64 shots of the same sexy porn face until she comes up with the perfect one prior to posting on her favorite internet outlet.

After her sexy fun filled night at da club, or da bar, or, some boys' apartment that he shares with like 3 other boys, she posts about hootsuite, and tweetdec, and the twittersphere, and facebook, to prove to the rest of us that she is, in fact, sexy and fun, all while LHAO (laughing her ass off) about that crazy fun time she had finishing off a fifth of cheap vodka {let's assume it's Absolut} and smoking four packs of cigarettes in an hour. {But she ONLY smokes when she drinks. or socially.  or when she's stressed.  or when her baby daddy ain't be callin' her back and he ain't paid for nothin' and he be out reppin' with some other fun girl six years her junior.}

Yes it's true, fun girls come in all shapes, sizes and styles. 

Some fun girls fool you with trickery.  As in: they dress nicely, comb their hair and brush their teeth.  They maintain grown woman jobs, and generally maintain grown women lifestyles but still choose to live like a classless trashhole all weekend and most week evenings after work. 

Fun Girl: Why do you do this?  To make all the grown men think you're fun?Oh Shug.  They do.  They think you're real fun.  For the night. 

Much like the Awesome Girl, you exhaust me.  While it is so wonderful that you are so much fun that everyone wants to make out with you and party like a rockstar with you, and tailgate with you {what can I say, I've got football on the brain} and go to all the awesomest bars with you on a Tuesday night for a round of drinking games, smudged eyeliner and Trivial Pursuit, I think I speak for the rest of us in saying, "It's like two pigs.  Fighting.  Under a blanket."

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