Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Business Woman Special

So this is the deal people.  I know you know because I've told you, that I am a nurse.  Actually, I am a full time nurse.  And full time Momma.  And full time Wifey.

Therefore.  I am tired.

I'm serious y'all. Before I was taken out of the hospital/away from the bedside for preterm contractions, I worked as an RN Case Manager five days a week and a bedside Neuro ICU nurse for twelve hours every other Saturday, for over a year.  I THOUGHT I was busy.  I THOUGHT I was tired.  {That was nothing.}

Recently I have come across the opportunity {And I'm not going to lie to you like it's raining jobs and they all just come to me and fall in my lap because I'm so awesome and great, I have been in dire search, high and low} to cut back a little bit.  As in work part time.  Naow I'ma tell you something.  Having a big girl job i.e. career and working part time hours, do not go hand in hand sister girl.  And I tell you, once I got that job offer, I thought I'd be dancing in the street like it was raining men.  It's not.

I have always been the girl saying, "Um no ma'am, You will not catch me at home barefoot and pregnant raising babies and scrubbing floors like some Cinderella-havin-need-to-stand by yur man-singin-yoga pant wearin-play date makin-talking about nothing but diaper rash treatin-simple minded-little-woman."  You get my point?

{"Do you have any, Business Women Specials? You know, for Business Women...?"}
Then life slapped my sassy mouth right quick, sugar.  I had a baby and I was begging to stay home.  I'm talking tears down my face in the church house praying to Jesus, PUHLEASE help me, I am TIRED I can't DO THIS someone else is raising the best thing I have ever DONE while I PRETEND life matters because it means I can say I'm a working woman making something out of my life {and ahem bringing in a check, let's not play ladies, it's nice to make a dolla holllaaaaa} while I COULD CARE LESS BECAUSE MY CHILD WILL NEVER EVER BE THREE MONTHS OLD AGAIN. {or four or five or six..}  Are you hearing me, sugar?

So here I am trying to find a happy medium, stuck in between the old me and the new me, thinking that the new me would be tickled pink with the option of a new part time jobbie job, while the old me is shaking her head irritably tapping her leopard print Danskos {I'm a nurse, If I wore heels to work the rest of the nurses would shun me.  It's like openly wearing a thong in the Amish Country}

And I'm at a loss.  Now what?  Take the part time job, stop feeling like an exhausted crazy person, and work in a different sense of the word {I now KNOW that women who stay at home WORK}?  Or keep the full time job, WORK for a great salary {I also now KNOW that WORK for an income to pay for a certain lifestyle is a PRIVILEGE easily taken for granted} but know that what I'm worried I may miss, I will certainly never get back?

Can women really have it all, do it all and accomplish ALL of it WELL?  Or are we left to feel guilty for whatever we choose, should we have the luxury of making this choice?

Should you Could you have the time, fabulous article, from Anne-Marie Slaughter.  And to Mrs. Slaugher: I appreciate your forward, honest, CURRENT opinion.

And I'm spent.

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