Wednesday, April 9, 2014


Alright it's that time again ladies and gentles, for me to get this off mah chest.

{Source: Unknown} 
Seriously.  That looks and sounds disgusting. 

Bitches Be Lying.

Ew that was so vulgar and unnecessary of me.  But they are.

If I see one more Pin.  Or Instagram.  Or Tweet. (ok not tweet because I don't know how to tweeter-but I'm thinking about learning-) {but then really, how CONNECTED do we truly need to be...?  All this connectedness is great but then you run out of time to do the real stuff, right?  Because some bitches be lying about THAT and filling up your feed with the fake stuff...ok totally 'nother topic I'll have to touch on later}

If I see one more Pin.  Or Instagram.  Or Tweet.  About this awesome fabulous delicious you just gotta try this wheat grass weight loss detox smoothie recipe--which just so happens to be just AHHMAAAAZING for desert and tastes just like marbled cheesecake without all the calories!-- I'm going to vom.  Figuratively.  Mostly because I do not actually use the word "vom" in every day jargon, just here, now, today for emphasis and dramatics.

Now I'm not talking about eat clean eat right exercise and take care of yourself because yes, I do in fact, ride that bus and no, I do not in fact feel sorrow over self induced pre-diabetuss and high blood.  {Hey whatevs, loose a leg, have a stroke, drive up health care costs due to long term care needs based on bad decision making we as a nation don't expect repercussions or consequences for our decisions...  Off topic again.  I think I may touch on that in the future as well.}

But come on.  Really.  You do not love love love lahhhhve your most delicious sprouts and beets and mushroom sammie slathered in edamame kefir.  So please stop lying.  To the rest of us.  Making us feel like we should eat a handful of bulgur wheat as a great "treat!" of an afternoon snack. 

Honestly-I just saw a recipe for squash and zucchini with the title, "Better Than Fries!!"  Um.  No they aren't.  That's not even physically possible.  Nothing is better than fries.  Nothing.  Consider re-titling, Liar.  You don't have to use this one, but I think it's pretty good: 

"Better For You Than Fries.  And Because You Are Grown and In Charge of Your Own Self and Your Own Choices, Here is a Healthy One. And it Actually Doesn't Taste Bad.  Probably, You Will Like It.  Definitely, You Won't Regret It."

What do yall think, hmmm...?

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