Liars.

Alright it's that time again ladies and gentles, for me to get this off mah chest.

{Source: Unknown} 

Seriously.  That looks and sounds disgusting. 

Bitches Be Lying.

Ew that was so vulgar and unnecessary of me.  But they are.

If I see one more Pin.  Or Instagram.  Or Tweet. (ok not tweet because I don't know how to tweeter-but I'm thinking about learning-) {but then really, how CONNECTED do we truly need to be...?  All this connectedness is great but then you run out of time to do the real stuff, right?  Because some bitches be lying about THAT and filling up your feed with the fake stuff...ok totally 'nother topic I'll have to touch on later}

If I see one more Pin.  Or Instagram.  Or Tweet.  About this awesome fabulous delicious you just gotta try this wheat grass weight loss detox smoothie recipe--which just so happens to be just AHHMAAAAZING for desert and tastes just like marbled cheesecake without all the calories!-- I'm going to vom.  Figuratively.  Mostly because I do not actually use the word "vom" in every day jargon, just here, now, today for emphasis and dramatics.

Now I'm not talking about eat clean eat right exercise and take care of yourself because yes, I do in fact, ride that bus and no, I do not in fact feel sorrow over self induced pre-diabetuss and high blood.  {Hey whatevs, loose a leg, have a stroke, drive up health care costs due to long term care needs based on bad decision making we as a nation don't expect repercussions or consequences for our decisions...  Off topic again.  I think I may touch on that in the future as well.}

But come on.  Really.  You do not love love love lahhhhve your most delicious sprouts and beets and mushroom sammie slathered in edamame kefir.  So please stop lying.  To the rest of us.  Making us feel like we should eat a handful of bulgur wheat as a great "treat!" of an afternoon snack. 

Honestly-I just saw a recipe for squash and zucchini with the title, "Better Than Fries!!"  Um.  No they aren't.  That's not even physically possible.  Nothing is better than fries.  Nothing.  Consider re-titling, Liar.  You don't have to use this one, but I think it's pretty good: 

"Better For You Than Fries.  And Because You Are Grown and In Charge of Your Own Self and Your Own Choices, Here is a Healthy One. And it Actually Doesn't Taste Bad.  Probably, You Will Like It.  Definitely, You Won't Regret It."

What do yall think, hmmm...?

December

 

In December Whitten went to work in efforts to wrap up the Merrimon Wynne construction and landscape plan.  {Because his daddy designed the landscape plan.}  Thank the Lordt Jodi did not request his worker's permit.  I didn't have time to pick one up, as I was too busy being very pregnant.

 

Also thanking the Lordt that Jodi and John didn't mind Whitten rambling through their dealings whilst working out details pertaining to the retaining wall.

Then of course and or obviously we had Christmas...

 And then we took out last picture together as a family of three.
 (he didn't care)

And our last picture together as a momma of one. 
(he still didn't care)

and after a small scare and a lot of drugs, we had a little girl

Novembie.

In November we went to Barnes and Noble and Whitten climbed on the tables.  Luckily the codgey employee was sure to tell us standing on tables was not allowed.  Luckily, Whitten cared.

 

I made pumpkin muffins with the Halloween pumpkins.  Nesting is for real.

We rolled low key and made smores.

 

Asos maternity leggings are where you need to be sugar marie.



 

Whitten had God-awful horrific screaming night tantrums for a solid month which tested both my sanity and Christianity.  We rolled on very minimal sleep in November.  Aint nobody done tol' me they had unprovoked seizure-like fits.

 

 

I utilized the Harris Teeter express lane more than ever before, being exhausted and pregnant and putting in way too much career time than I cared to, I felt valid in this decision.  Still do.

 

Whitten wore his jammies to Thanksgiving.  And...some kind of worker-man construction type head light.

October

Since it would appear as though I actually quit posting in October 2013 I'll give you a glimpse of what you missed on a month by month scroll by-

 

Whitten used his makeshift "blower" to clean out the flower beds.  Thank heavens for his helping hands.

These sweet babies went to Hillridge Farms on a play date

This is not embarrassing in the slightest.  I food prepped.  Seriously.  You're looking at a years worth of Trader Joe's pumpkin pancakes annnd...Baked Spaghetti?

 

I hauled all the way out to JJ's Kids Cuts so he could watch 10 minutes of The Lion King in a fake car.  Best $17 I've ever spent.

 

What do you know, it's Halloween at Edenton Street United Methodist Church Preschool.  Stegosaurus.

 

Rest assurred the hoodrats from outlying "neighborhoods" were sure to empty my stash before most of the actual neighborhood childrens could.

 

 

What's Halloween without a broken candy bowl? Swoozies: that's all you got?

 

 

He didn't feel bad.  At all.

Recapping

We've spent the past 3 months getting acclimated to our new lives with two babies.  Because it is a well documented fact that a picture is worth a thousand words I may just spend the rest of this week recapping on the past few months via visual communication.

Is that a thing?

We spent New Years in the hospital

And a lot of time in loungewear.

And in bed

And outside with jackets on in the awful freezing cold sleeting snow and ice helpmeJesus.

And of course, multitasking.  Because I have a vagina and that's what I do.  And I do it well.  I said vagina on the intranets, what ever are they going to do?!

My Girl

Hey Guess What Yall!?!

I'M BACK!! AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION AND JUST PLAIN EMOTIONAL AND EXHAUSTING HAPPENINGS, I AM BACK, HERE TO INNUNDATE YOU WITH MY OPINIONS AND DEALINGS.

There you have it.  Get excited.  Get crazy.  Some things around here may be changing but that is not a bad thing.  And I figured I'd keep on trucking with my writing and story telling and make changes as I see fit when I see fit because I am the boss here.  Please do not confuse that with a reference to the irritating Ban Bossy Other B Word mess.  Shug I've been over those "articles" since before they came out.

So where was I, you ask?

Anna Charles Elizabeth Decker was born December 30, 2013 at 4:25 pm

6lbs 4oz 19 3/4"

 

She has been dramatic since conception girls and boys and her entry into the world was no different. 

 

Sweetest and most precioussssss.  (smegol voice)

Updates to come.